It's All Over - I'm Normal Again

After thirty-one rehearsals and five performances it's all over. My life as a theater person has come to an end, with little chance that it will be resurrected at any time in the future. But, it sure was fun while it lasted. I had my fifteen minutes of fame. Actually, my solo only lasted four minutes and seventeen seconds, but who was counting? I'd like to take this time to thank my family, friends and neighbors who encouraged me during this entire project and who had such positive things to say about the show. A special thanks goes out to Vicki for enduring listening to me sing Joseph songs over and over again for the better part of three months, and then actually showing up to watch the show not once, but three times! The following are some pictures from the show. You'll notice that are mostly of me, which makes perfect sense given that this is my blog (and Vicki's too, but she has yet to make any posts and she wasn't in the show).

This is the world famous photo of the brothers when they

visited the Sphinx on their way to see Joseph for the first time -

"They've got corn, they've got meat, they've got fruit and drinks,

and if we have the time we could see the . . ."

Asher (a.k.a. me) as he sings about the

good old days in Canaan with Jacob and his brothers.

"Do you remember those good years in Canaan . . . "

"It's funny, but since we lost Joseph . . .

we've gone to the other extreme . . ."

Calypso Asher (check out the awesome hat).

My ten seconds of dramatic interpretation -

"When I think of his last great battle, a lump comes to my throat!"

(Being dramatic is difficult when you're wearing a red sequined
vest and holding a cowboy hat)

I actually have a CD with over 300 pictures of the show (relax, I'm not in all of them). If you're ever in the greater Sugar Land area and you have lots of time to kill feel free to drop by and we can run through all of the show pictures.

Now that the show is over it's back to being just another unemployed guy with a run of the mill life. I'm hoping that some type of job lead surfaces soon. Which reminds me of a comment from one of my "friends" after the show, which was "After watching you sing and dance I think you should keep your day job. Oops, I forgot - you don't have a day job!"

It's nice to have friends.

My Stage Career is Now 60% Over

This morning we performed the Joseph show for some area school children, about 700 of them. About half of them came from Velsaquez Elementary School, which is a Lamar Consolidated school in the back of Greatwood. Of our three shows, this was by far the most enthusiastic crowd. I guess if I was ten years old again that I'd be pretty enthused about anything that got me out of school for half a day. Regardless of the motive for their motivation, the kids were really into the show and we all had a really great time.

Speaking of the show, this was our third of five performances, which means that we are now 60% of the way through. This has been the perfect show for someone with my underwhelming talents - singing and dancing as part of a group of guys whose primary function in the story line is to provide comic relief. In spite of the fairly grueling rehearsal schedule and all of the time I spent working on the stage and set, I have had a ton of fun participating in this project. It has been so gratifying to hear all of the positive comments we've had from everyone who has attended and to realize that we have truly entertained people. That is a great feeling! We have also been amazed by the number of people who have shown up to watch the show. We heard this morning that when all is said and done our total attendance will probably top 2,400 people. Not bad for a bunch of amateurs. We are all pumped for the last two shows tomorrow and Sunday. My brother, Greg, and his wife Linda (of the vacation home in Colorado fame) are coming to the Saturday show, and our across-the-street neighbors are coming on Sunday. I can't wait to show off my mad singing and dancing skills.

I spent some time at Second Mile yesterday interviewing one of the directors regarding the project I have taken on to write a personnel policies and procedures manual for them. This should be an interesting little project and I'm looking forward to putting together something that will help Second Mile operate more efficiently.

After my Second Mile gig I had a networking lunch with one of the attorneys who works for the downtown law firm that we used for HR-related issues while I was at GlobalSantaFe. She has some great contacts and I know she'll try to help me in any way she can to run down another job. When I arrived at Guadalajara's I was surprised to run into a table full of my old friends from Transocean. I say Transocean, but most of them were actually GlobalSantaFe people who have continued to survive. I hadn't seen any of them since my demise as a Transocean employee and it was nice to say hello and see that they all seem to be getting along just fine without me. One of those present was the lady who used to be my administrative assistant. It was her birthday and she got to wear the community sombrero and everything. Quite festive.

Every time I go to Second Mile I see something that either amuses me or amazes me. Last week I saw something that both amused and amazed me. As I pulled into the parking lot I noticed a guy getting out of a new Jaguar. We exchanged pleasantries as we walked into the reception area. As I was signing in and putting on my "Volunteer" badge I heard him say to the receptionist "I'm here to do my community service." Usually the community service people are kids who stabbed a classmate with a pencil or skipped school fifty times. This was a grown man in a new Jag. I wasn't working with him so I never got the chance to ask what he was in for. If he's back next week I'll make sure to find out.

There's not much else happening. I really need to find a job before I completely run out of things to write about.

BONUS!!!!! MOVIE REVIEW

This afternoon Vicki and I went to see the movie The Secret Life of Jonathan Sperry. If you want to see a movie with big-name stars that's packed with action and special effects then definitely skip this one. However, if you want to see a movie that's packed with solid Christian values, some geeky characters, and an uplifting true story of what a man with an unyielding faith in Jesus Christ can do for those around him, then check this movie out. I'd advise seeing it sooner than later because I doubt if it will be in theaters for very long.

Today I Said Goodbye to GlobalSantaFe

This afternoon I bade my final farewell to GlobalSantaFe (formerly Global Marine and currently Transocean). After having a networking lunch with a benefits broker friend I stopped by the old GSF building at 15375 Memorial Drive. The main goal of my visit was to say goodbye to Kyna, who has been the receptionist for the company for the past 30 years. That's right - she's been the receptionist for 30 years. In this day and age it's pretty unusual to find anyone who's managed to stay with one company for that long. To find someone who's been a receptionist for that long is unheard of. Now you might be thinking: Why would anyone stay in a receptionist position for 30 years? Doesn't she have any ambition? Did she never want to move up into a better paying job with more responsibility? Didn't she get bored? If you knew Kyna you wouldn't be asking any of these questions.

Kyna is a people person, and I do mean a people person. She likes nothing more than to interact with as many people as possible - all the time and every day. Kyna always has a smile on her face. She makes you feel like the most important person in the world every time she sees you. As far as she's concerned she's had the best job in the company for all these many years because she gets paid to do exactly what she wants to do - greet people, make them feel welcome, and make sure they get to exactly where they need to go. I don't know about you, but I've never worked any place where I thought I had the best job in the company. If you had enough time to find out what everyone you ever met thought about you I'll bet you'd come across at least a few people who didn't like you very much. Not so with Kyna -nobody doesn't like Kyna. What's not to like? How many 4'10" people do you know who light up every time they see you? How many people - of any height - do you know who decorate their reception area - and I do mean decorate - for not just Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving, but for Labor Day, Memorial Day, Halloween and the Rodeo? How many people do you know who spend time every day feeding the ducks in the lake in front of their building?

As we stood overlooking the now-empty atrium of our almost vacant building Kyna waxed eloquent about the good old days at Global Marine and then at GlobalSantaFe. She talked about the old feeling of family that existed, about how everybody knew everybody, and about how wonderfully approachable everyone was, from receptionist all the way up to the CEO. She talked about how much fun it was to come to work. She talked about how disappointed she was to watch such a great place fade into oblivion as it was lost in the world of Transocean. I told her that I had made my peace with what we'd lost and was moving on to whatever comes next. She told me that she hasn't done any such thing - that maybe some day she'll get to that place, but not yet.

We shared one last hug and then she was gone, back through the glass doors to her final assignment packing boxes, and putting things in order for the final exit of those lucky enough to still be there. Within the next few weeks everyone will be gone and the building will be closed. And the final vestige of a great place to work will be gone for good.

Good luck Kyna. We'll never forget you.

Alligators and Way Off Broadway

We finally made it to the BIG weekend! All of the fam came to town and we made the most of it. I'll start with the main event, the one that about 50 of us have been working toward for the last ten weeks - the Joseph and the Amazing Techinicolor Dreamcoat show. I'll admit that there were times during rehearsals when I had some doubts about whether or not we'd actually pull this off, but our performances this weekend exceeded my expectations. We had a sell out crowd on Saturday night and another great crowd on Sunday night, and once we got over our opening night jitters we all had a blast! The comments we received from the fans after the show and on Sunday morning were very encouraging, and it was obvious that our efforts were not in vain - everyone seemed to have had a really fun time. There's something about performing in front of several hundred people that really gets your blood pumping. We have two more shows next weekend (good seats still available), and I can't wait to get back up on the stage again and act like I know what I'm doing. And, the best part is that there are no rehearsals this week! Hopefully we won't all forget everything over the next six days.

If you run into me this week be forewarned that I dyed my beard in accordance with Director Pam's instructions that she didn't want us to look like a bunch of old men on stage. I am not - I repeat am NOT - trying to fool anyone into thinking that I'm younger than I am. That said, I've been checking myself out in the mirror and the Just for Men five-minute formula does make me look at least 18 months younger.

The Brothers in action on Saturday night during the "Calypso Scene"

(I'm on the far right in the burgundy shirt)

In addition to the show we also spent some family time together on Saturday. After Vicki made all of us a big waffle breakfast we headed out to Brazos Bend State Park for an afternoon of gator hunting and a picnic lunch. For some reason we had allowed the two days of cool weather that we had last week to fool us into thinking that summer was over. I don't know which season you are experiencing wherever you are, but at Brazos Bend it was still summer, in all of its humidity infested glory. But like good picnickers everywhere, we fought through adversity and had a good time in spite of the heat and a few pesky mosquitoes. We managed to spot a few alligators and also saw some gigantic birds who were wading around looking for fish in the drought-depleted lakes. There's nothing like watching a bird eat a fish!

Eight-foot gator swimming through the slime

The Freede girls leaning on a sign
(NOTE: No alligators were fed or approached during the taking of this picture)

Sunday morning we all headed out to church at FCCC. With both daughters and both sons-in-law in attendance we took up our own row. Lance and Cody went to the Texans game on Sunday afternoon. I'm not sure what Vicki and the girls did. I took a three-hour nap (we theater people need lots of beauty rest) and then headed out for last night's performance. While I was gone we morphed back into an empty-nest family. Kayla and Lance flew back to Lubbock, and Bethany and Cody drove back to Round Rock. It was a short visit, but we'll see everyone again in two weeks at a wedding in Dallas.

Summer of 2009 - Greatest Hits

Well, summer officially ended this week. It was a season of lawn devastating heat, no rain, home projects, not going to work, theater rehearsals, travel, and lots of other things I have probably forgotten. All in all it was a really fun time, and I thought it would be fun to summarize some of the highlights. So, in no particular order, here they are.

The Grand Canyon - There's a reason why they call this place "Grand." If you've never been there you have to make time to see it before you die. It's the consummate definition of awesome. It should be mandatory that all professed atheists visit the Grand Canyon before they make their final decision that there is no God.

Hoover Dam - This is a truly amazing structure, especially when you consider that it was put together over 70 years ago. The size and the setting are awe-inspiring, and the history of the entire effort to contruct this massive dam are compelling, including the fact that almost 100 men lost their lives before it was completed.

Sheridan's (Lubbock) - This is the Grand Canyon of ice cream/frozen yogurt establishments. Sort of like Marble Slab on steroids. Where most places will give you yogurt or ice cream that includes crushed pieces of your favorite candy bar, this place will crush up cakes, pies, candy, fruit, and just about anything else that's sweet.

Camp Bandina (Bandera) and Camp Kadesh (Abilene) - The opportunity to be a group leader at both of these Christian youth camps was a wonderful experience. Both restored my faith in the future of humanity by reminding me that not all people under the age of 18 are empty-headed slackers (there are exceptions). Kadesh was fun because I got to stay in one of the dorms at ACU. Bandina was special because Vicki and I got to spend some really quality time working together with our group.

Sedona, Arizona - A place that must be seen to really be appreciated. The red sandstone cliffs that surround the town are something that you won't see anywhere else. From now on whenever I watch an old western movie - multitudes of which were filmed in and around Sedona - I'll be checking out the scenery for familiar geological landmarks.

The Star Motel, Sedona - This place is a throw-back to the days of my youth and reminded me of the good old days when my family would hit the road every year for our annual vacation. Its cinder block walls and sixteen square foot bathroom aren't fancy, but it is super clean and right in the middle of town. The lady who has owned the place for over thirty years always had a smile on her face and seemed genuinely happy to see us when we showed up. Its fourteen rooms were a far cry from the massive hotels we'd just left in Las Vegas, but this place was like a happy time warp.

The Breakfast Klub, Houston - Visit this little restaurant on Travis Street if you want to eat some mass quantities of serious comfort food. The food is good and the people who run the place are very friendly and attentive. However, be prepared for the mural-sized picture of Barak Obama on the wall, which will either enhance, reduce, or possibly eliminate your appetite.

The Holocaust Museum, Houston - Not exactly Disneyland on the happiest place on earth scale, but an extremely interesting, moving and thought-provoking place. This is a great museum for people who don't like museums because you can easily make it through the entire place in about two hours. It should definitely be on the must see list for Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who continues to maintain that the Holocaust never happened. If that's the case he will be very impressed by all of the staged photos and video footage of emaciated concentration camp prisoners and piles of rotting corpses, all probably put together by the same guys who faked the moon landing.

The Bob Bullock Texas State Museum, Austin - Unlike the Holocaust Museum, only hard-core, full-contact history freaks should attempt this museum. Be there when the doors open and bring enough money to visit the snack bar (briefly) for lunch and dinner. When you leave here you'll have been exposed to everything there is to know about Texas.

80 MPH Speed Limits - During our travels through Arizona, New Mexico and west Texas we were able to participate in the exhilarating experience of legally driving 80 mph, which of course meant that we really drove 85 mph, because everybody knows that the law enforcement authorities give you 5 mph over the speed limit before they stop you.

The Vastness of the American Southwest - This experience was both very boring and slightly terrifying at the same time. Driving across the vast - and I do mean vast - deserts of southern Arizona and New Mexico allows you to realize just how big this country is. At times you realize that you could probably fall asleep at the wheel and it wouldn't matter much because that road ahead of you stretches in an arrow-straight line for as far as you can see. You also wonder what would happen if you were to run out of gas when the next town is 200 miles away.

Seeing the Round Rock (Round Rock) - I always wondered why the city of Round Rock was called Round Rock. Now I know.

The Amish Bakery (Westcliffe, Colorado) - Colorado is a great place to visit - especially during the Houston summer - but it's cache has been exponentially enhanced in my mind now that I know the Amish Bakery exists. The perfect complement to hiking in the mountains, without even trying this place can easily replace all of the calories (and more) you expend in the great outdoors.

Second Mile Mission Center, Stafford - Having the opportunity to volunteer at Second Mile every Thursday has been an eye-opening experience from two perspectives - first that are so many people who need help just to fulfill their basic needs every day, and second that there are good people who are willing to spend their lives helping others. NOTE: I don't consider volunteering one day a week as spending my life helping others.

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat - This has been a love/hate project. I have loved the opportunity to work with so many of my friends and fellow Christians at FCCC. However, after spending countless hours together we are all starting to get on each other's nerves and we are sick to death of rehearsing and just want to get on with it and actually get to the performances. NOTE: I'm not implying that we couldn't use more time rehearsing.

There was more good stuff from this summer, but I think the preceding 5,000 words are enough excitement for one day.

Today is Thursday, so I'll be heading down to Second Mile shortly. They have a new project for me. Because I am an unemployed "human resources professional" they want to me to help them put together a policies and procedures manual for their employees. Should be fascinating. I promise to keep you posted on all of the details.

Tomorrow night is our final (!) rehearsal for the Joseph show. Saturday is the big night we've all been working toward for the last ten weeks. We're expecting a big crowd. It will be fun.

Networking, Rehearsing and Manual Labor

I haven't blogged for awhile because I haven't been doing much of anything worth talking about. But, as has been my practice over the last several months, the fact that my life has become rather boring won't stop me from continuing to write about it, at least occasionally.

This past weekend was a big one for Joseph rehearsals. We practiced for almost four hours on Friday night, and Sunday afternoon/evening we had a modified "dress rehearsal" during which we ran through the whole show in costume for the first time, stopping during every scene for pictures. One thing that became clear when we put on our costumes was that they are hot! I don't mean that they made us look hot - as in sexy, good looking, etc - but hot as in 120 degrees, sweating like a pig hot. Between the pants, shirt, tunic and headgear I was pretty much soaked fifteen minutes into the show. I'm not too clear on exactly why all the pictures were taken or where they'll be used. During the rehearsal Vicki was recruited by the director to scribe notes on what needed to be corrected. She took five pages of notes, so it's obvious that we still have some polishing to do before show time this Saturday.

I bought my bottle of Just for Men Beard and Mustache Color at Target on Saturday. I may have mentioned that our director encouraged all of us "brothers" to grow beards for the show, but at the same time told us that she doesn't want us to look like a bunch of old men. News flash Pam - the majority of us are old men. At any rate, those of us with grey in our beards (me included) will be required to dye them dark for the show. I was checking out the Just for Men instructions and was surprised to find that they recommend a "48 hour pre-application allergy test" to determine if it's safe to use the stuff. The test involves putting a dab of the gel on the inside of your elbow - which turns your skin black - and then watching for any type of negative reaction. There is a list of possible side effects and other bad stuff to be aware of, all of which seemed a little extreme just to dye a beard. So far it looks like I'm safe.

Yesterday I spent the morning at a church friend's house helping her get ready for a big estate sale. She sold her house and is moving into a smaller one next month. My task was to move everything from the garage attic down into the garage. I was amazed at how much Christmas stuff this lady has! She could set up one of those deals where you pay $7 and drive your car through the winter wonderland scenes. But, it was no winter wonderland yesterday. It was hot and humid, especially in a garage attic. Continuing with the sweating theme I introduced above, I was soaked through and through by the time I finished.

Today I have a "networking lunch" appointment with one (possibly two) accounts reps from Aetna with whom I worked - when I used to work. Lunch is at the Grotto, which is a fairly upscale Italian restaurant in the Galleria area. Today's lunch will officially kick off my networking campaign. I have another lunch date on Friday and then another next Tuesday. I must admit that I have now reached the cusp of becoming at least a little concerned about finding another job. I've now passed the five-month mark of unemployment and I'm no closer to a job today than I was on April 17th. On the other hand, I've really only been seriously looking for about three weeks, so I'm not planning any bank robberies or liquor store heists just yet.

Vicki and I are looking forward to this weekend because Kayla and Lance and Bethany and Cody are all coming into town on Friday afternoon and evening for the big show on Saturday night. Kayla and Lance are flying in from Lubbock and Bethany and Cody are driving down from Round Rock after work. Cody and Lance would like to try to go to the Texans game of Sunday. If you know of anyone trying to get rid of some tickets let me know. They would prefer to be in one of the luxury boxes, but will settle for whatever's available.

I Started a Fire - But My Letter DID Show Up On Time

In a rarely occurring event, I am actually making two blog posts today. My first one was at about 6:30 this morning and because so many important things have happened in the last twelve hours I felt the need to update everyone on my exciting day!

First of all, Kayla called me at 12:04 to let me know that she received her next day delivery letter. She was actually expecting it because she had read my blog and knew it was supposed to be coming. All is well in the world of the U.S. Postal Service and those people at the Shell convenience store.

As today is Thursday, I spent most of the day at Second Mile Mission. It was a slow day for clients, but an exciting day for me. First of all I set up seven tables and 42 chairs in the big room they call the "worship center" for some type of function that will be happening on Saturday. If that wasn't exciting enough, I was then called on to cut the lock off of one of the lady's lockers. It seems that she had lost her key somewhere during the 58 foot walk from the locker area to her desk and needed to leave for an important appointment, which would of course be impossible without her car keys. My boss, Tom, suggested that I use the Mission's reciprocating saw, also known to us construction savvy types as a "saws all". For those of you not familiar with a saws all, it ranks number two behind only the chain saw as a weapon of mass destruction. While Tom held the padlock with a pair of pliers, I sawed away. I didn't tell him until we had finished that there would have been no way I would have held the lock for him. His trust in me was astonishing and a true indication that he really doesn't know me very well.


After we had successfully removed the lock I was left to put away the tools, which included an extension cord. As I was winding the cord around my arm it began to smoke and then actually burst into flames. It seems that the cord had previously been damaged (probably by someone with a saws all) and then "repaired" with duct tape. There was obviously a short which caused the blaze. A video of me jumping around trying to get the flaming cord off my arm before it consumed me would have been a sure fire (pardon the pun) hit on You Tube, but alas nobody was there to either witness of video the event. Anyway, I got the cord off my arm before it burned me, jerked it out of the wall socket, and then stomped on it to put out the fire. Other than a black mark on the linoleum there was not major damage. After the incident I mentioned to Tom that he might want to consider checking the effectiveness of his smoke detectors. I knocked off at about 2:30 and went home for a well-deserved nap.

Tomorrow is going to be a big day. The lady who is doing the final painting on the chariot (you do remember the chariot?) emailed me this afternoon that it is finished and ready for action. I'm picking it up tomorrow. I'll post pictures. It should be awesome.