The Joy of Furniture

This evening I'm going to continue my discussion of furniture and all the effort that goes into making your home look like a pleasant, inviting place. This is not an easy task. A few days ago I talked about the rigors of "rugging." Tonight I'm going to explore the concept of "desking."

As most of you know, I have been "between jobs" now for almost five months. Most of that time I have spent goofing off and enjoying myself, but recently I decided it was time to get serious about finding a new gig that will pay enough to allow us to continue to live in the style in which we have become accustomed over the last 30 years or so. Part of any good job search involves making appointments and keeping good records of the people you bother, so that you won't bother them any more often than is necessary. To keep good records one needs a good desk. At our house we have one good desk. This is the desk upon which the computer, printer, etc. reside. Between Vicki and me this single desk sometimes gets a little crowded. As a result of this situation we decided that another desk would be a good idea. So, we went desk shopping.

After several weeks of looking around we were able to find only one desk that met the space restrictions in our master bedroom. This desk was located at Star Furniture, and of course was wildly over-priced. However, based on the fact that it was our only option we were more of less forced to take it. Vicki found a $100 off coupon and we opted to pick up the desk ourselves rather than have it delivered, which saved us another $100. Can you believe that they charge $100 to deliver an item that they've already marked up about 500% (don't get me started)? We showed up bright and early on Friday morning at the Star Furniture warehouse/showroom at the Park Ten exit of the Katy Freeway. We checked in, and although they knew we were coming, we waited about a half-hour before they brought out the desk, which as we expected was in a box (some assembly required). I asked the warehouse guy if he'd open up the box so we could check for any damage. His reply was, "Just take it home and if you find anything wrong with it you can bring it back." I had two problems with his plan. Number one, we live about 30 miles from the warehouse, so a return trip to bring back damaged furniture would be a slight inconvenience. Number two, there was a big sign on the loading dock wall that said something like "All customers must inspect merchandise for damage before loading. Damaged items may not be returned." Based on these facts I requested the warehouse guy to open up the box. When he opened it we discovered that, lo and behold, the corner of the desk was broken. No problem, I said, because our salesperson back in the Greatwood Star store had mentioned that there were seven desks in stock. Just bring out another desk. Desk number two arrived at the dock, and guess what? It too had a broken corner. Desk number three was summoned, which unbelievably was also damaged. At his point I said something brilliant, like "Three down, four to go." To which the warehouse guy said "We don't have time to check all seven of these. We'll just have our 'furniture technician' fix the damage." To which I said "Hey, no problem. We don't mind overpaying for a new desk and then taking one that's damaged." Note: I was being facetious. We finally talked to the warehouse supervisor who promised us free delivery of a brand new, undamaged desk on Wednesday. Hopefully they won't try to pull a fast one on us with damaged goods that the furniture technician has fixed up.

My latest home project is converting the blue four-drawer dresser in the laundry room into a distressed black dresser for the living room. Along the way I'll strip and refinish the top of the dresser and convert it from a blond finish to a darker finish. I'm now on day two of this project, and it looks like it will end up being a little more difficult and more time-consuming than I anticipated (now there's a real surprise).

I spent most of the day of Thursday up at the church building working on the set for the Joseph show. You need to buy a ticket for the show just to see this thing. It's basically two sets of semi-spiral staircases connected by a catwalk that hangs ten feet above the stage. Because at times during the show there will be up to twelve people standing (and dancing) on it, it has been over-engineered like you wouldn't believe. There's enough wood in this thing to rebuild Surfside after Hurricane Ike. It weighs about a ton and will require most of the congregation to move it onto the stage.

This evening we went over to the Wattersons for food, fun and games. The games included a Seinfeld trivia game. If you ever play this game make sure to go with the "easy questions" instead of the "difficult questions", otherwise you'll be playing it the for the rest of your life. I noticed that the majority of the difficult questions asked for the name of one of Jerry's girlfriends, of which there were were about 150 over the show's nine year run. The easy questions are more typically about things that happened on the show, like "Why did Elaine throw Jerry's $20 bill out the window of his apartment?" and "Who invented Festivus?"

My last item for this evening is yet another movie review. Tonight's movie is All About Steve, starring Sandra Bullock and some guy I've never heard. This movie was mildly entertaining, with a few fairly funny spots. I can't comment on the entire movie because I had two complete zone-outs (that I'm aware of) where my mind was so totally divorced from my body that I totally missed at least twenty minutes of the show. As with a lot of movies I've seen lately, this would have made a good made for TV movie (do they still make made for TV movies?), but it was definitely not worth the price of admission, even if it was a matinee. Maybe it's just me, but it seems that ever since Sandra got her facial features rearranged to make her look like a guppy her movies have been going downhill. The next time you want to see a Sandra Bullock movie do yourself a favor and rent Hope Floats or Speed.

Tomorrow is Labor Day, which will be the third holiday that I've observed since my untimely demise from Transocean. As I've mentioned before, a three-day weekend loses most of its impact when every weekend is a three-day weekend. I'm hoping that by Thanksgiving holidays will again hold some allure.

Hunting for a Job and Some Nice Rugs

Yesterday was an interesting day, filled with a cornucopia of varied and fascinating experiences.

First, I helped Vicki in her ongoing search for the perfect rugs that will finalize and "tie together" the new decorating scheme that she has devised for our crib. If I've said this once, I've said it a hundred times, finding the right furniture is easy . . . finding the right rugs to go with that furniture is difficult. The thing about rugs is that the rug stores will let you take them home for a day or so to try them out and see if they match your furniture, which is really nice of them. The only problem with this set up is that these rugs are heavy! This isn't an issue at the store, because they load them into your vehicle. It's when you get them to the house that the problems manifest themselves. Have you ever tried to move a 10x14 Persian rug from the back of your SUV into your living room? Not an easy task, especially for two broken down old people like Vicki and me. We should have done this before Lance went back to Lubbock (silly us). And then, when the rug (or rugs) isn't (aren't) the right size or the right color and design you have to roll it (them) up and get it (them) back out to the garage and into the SUV. This return trip to the garage is made even more difficult by the fact that you haven't yet recovered from the injuries you sustained bringing the rug in. Which reminds me, there is a beautiful rug sitting on the floor a few feet from where I'm typing that needs to be relocated to the Toyota Highlander and returned to the rug place. The rug is perfect, except for being just a little too small for the room. We'll be ordering the identical rug in a larger size, which will be even heavier and more unwieldy to move. If you see us this week and we're a little hunched over it's because we've been "rugging."

After my rug experience I went off on my very first "networking" lunch. The last time I was unemployed (back in 1995-96) I did over 50 of these things. I discovered yesterday that I don't like them any more now than I did 14 years ago. The lady I met with is a consultant for one of the large national benefits consulting firms and we have been casual friends for several years, so our meeting was actually quite pleasant (at least for me it was). Ones like this aren't too bad, and I have several more people on my contact list who fall into this "casual friends" category. Once I have bothered all of them I'll be forced to move to the next category, which is "people I hardly know." Getting this group to even meet with you is difficult enough, but spending an hour with them over lunch can be quite painful - for them and me. After this I'll move to the "you don't even know me, but . . ." group. This will be excruciating, all around. I'm looking forward to all of this, really. I'll keep track of who picks up the check.

Closely akin to networking is outplacement. As part of my severance arrangement with Transocean (ugh!) I have access to outplacement services for 30 days, which start the day I first access the services. This morning at 10:00 I have my first meeting with my outplacement counselor. Once again, I did this during my last stint as an unemployed bum, so I think I know what to expect.

After my outplacement meeting I'm having lunch with a former Transocean (ugh!) colleague who called the other day. The (ugh!) applies to Transocean, not to the former colleague. She reminded me that when we parted company after working together for 14 years we agreed to keep in touch. Apparently her definition of keeping in touch actually meant keeping in touch. Go figure. Maybe she'll pick up the check.

Update on the Joseph show. Last night's rehearsal went quite well. We ironed out some major bugs and things are progressing very nicely, on course for a great show. I was dropped from the big dance number, which immediately improved it about ten-fold. With me out of that number we should probably increase ticket prices. Remember to get your tickets now, before they're sold out (don't forget my 100% satisfaction guarantee)

Show Time is Rapidly Approaching

If you've been following our blog you know that I'm a member of the cast of the show Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, which we (the thespians of the First Colony Church of Christ) will be performing on the Saturday and Sunday evenings of the last weekend of September and the first weekend of October. We had rehearsal last night until 10:30 and a group of us spent all day today building some fairly elaborate props for the show. Although we're a bunch of amateurs (some more than others) it looks like things are really starting to come together in rehearsals and this show should be a lot of fun. We (the cast) are all committed to showing up for every show, but in order for the show to be considered a success it is essential that an audience show up also. So, if you're in town on either of our performance weekends I would consider it a personal favor if you'd consider showing up to cheer us on. I may have mentioned this, but I actually have the lead in one of the scenes, which includes a four-minute solo, and my performance alone will be worth be the price of admission. Speaking of the price of admission, tickets are $8, $10, and $12 and there isn't a bad seat in the house in our new auditorium. And, if you buy a ticket and you don't love the show I will personally refund the price of your ticket. This is a bold commitment from someone who doesn't even have a job.

You can buy tickets on any Sunday morning at the First Colony Church of Christ. While you're there you may as well stick around for church. Or, you can buy general admission tickets online at www.firstcolonychurch.org. Click on "Resources" and then "Event Calendar". There is a $1 per ticket service charge of online tickets.

Today, a Texas History Lesson and a Word About Volumizer

Vicki and I drove up to Round Rock on Thursday for a quick visit with Bethany and Cody. In addition to just wanting to spend some time with the semi-newly-weds, we also took them a chair and ottoman that formerly resided in our den until it was replaced by the new furniture that arrived this past Tuesday. [I'll discuss the fascinating details of the new furniture once Vicki picks out the rug that will "tie it all together." You won't want to miss that.] We went out to dinner at a place called Z Tejas. I'm sure that there's some historic significance to the name, but I forgot to ask what it was. The food was good, but not great. I'd give the place about a seven on a ten-point scale. After dinner we watched ACU whip up on Northwest Missouri State.

This morning I had an interesting experience in the shower (no visualizations, please). Upon entering the shower I noticed that there was not a bar of soap to be found. I remembered that Bethany mentioned that there was a large plastic bottle of body wash instead of soap. Unfortunately for me there were actually eight large plastic bottles in the shower, which wouldn't pose much of a problem for a sighted person, but for a person such as myself with 20-1,000,000 vision and no glasses it brought about a slight problem. Try as I might I could not definitively make out what any of the bottles said. The first one I tried left me feeling as if I had rubbed butter all over myself, which I decided wasn't a good thing. So, I did my best to find another bottle that would produce a better outcome. This one smelled like coconuts and also left me feeling a little slimy. After my shower I returned with my glasses to determined exactly what I had bathed in. I discovered that by first coat was conditioner, and my second was volumizer. I thought I looked like I had a little more volume after my shower.

Have you ever wondered how the city of Round Rock got its name? I'm sure many of you have laid awake many a night pondering this very question. Well, you're in luck because I'm going to let you in on the secret of the Round Rock name. In the middle of Brushy Creek (that's really the name of the creek), at a spot where wagons used to ford the creek back in the 1800's before there was a bridge, is a round rock that marked the low water point of the creek. No kidding, there is actually a rock that is almost round. Not round like a ball, but round like a circle. It seems that when the time came to assign a name to the newly established post office, the newly named postmaster was a local boy who had fished from the round rock as a lad, and based on his fond memories of all the fish he caught he more or less forced the residents to abandon the name Brushy Creek in favor of Round Rock. Vicki and Bethany are pictured on the bridge near the famous round rock of Round Rock.

For breakfast on Friday morning Bethany took us to the "World Famous Round Rock Donuts" which is a bakery that has been in operation in Round Rock since 1923 (I think). We showed up around 9:00, and unlike most donuts shops that are deserted after the "pick up some donuts on the way to work crowd" has come by, this place was hoppin'. There was a long line at the drive-thru and another line inside. As first-time guests (Bethany lied) we were each given a complimentary donut to munch on while we decided what to order. We ordered an assortment and opted to enjoy our delicious junk food in the ambiance of a concrete table about four feet from the street in the blazing sun. If you're ever in Round Rock you need to definitely stop by this place. They're open until 9:00 p.m. I considered buying one of their tee shirts, but the cowboy riding the donut wasn't really happening for me (see picture of authentic Styrofoam cup below).After the donut feast Vicki and Bethany dropped me off at the Texas State History Museum in downtown Austin. With the exception of Ellis Island, this is probably the best museum in the world, especially for a Texan. This was actually the second time I've visited there in the last few months. The first time I was accompanied by Bethany and Vicki and I didn't quite make it all the way through the museum before they were ready to leave. I would highly recommend a day-long visit for any true Texan (such as myself) who has a desire to learn and know as much as possible about our great and beloved state. I suggest allotting at least seven hours to get through the museum, unless you're a luke-warm run-of-the-mill Texan (like Vicki and Bethany), and then you should plan on about 45 minutes to blow through on your way to the gift shop and then the snack bar (I hear they have Blue Bell). My favorite exhibit was an audio rendition of a letter written by a little girl whose pet turkey - which she "loved as much as any boy loves his dog" - was commandeered for a banquet honoring the Confederate soldiers from her home town who were home on leave. In her letter she expressed her wish that the soldier who ate her turkey would choke to death on a bone, or evading that fate, would be stabbed to death with a Yankee's bayonet. She admitted that her attitude was "not very kind and certainly not very patriotic."

I have a few things to report on the job front. I mentioned a week or so ago that I was working on the possibility of an interview for the Benefits Director of a large Houston hospital chain. The VP of HR there is planning to retire in two years and they are looking to hire someone to work their way into her job. My recruiter did his best to get me an interview, but was finally told that they were looking for someone who could take over in two years, not someone who could take over right now. Hmmm. On a more positive note, I heard from a friend who works for one of the big HR consulting firms about a company that is moving it's corporate headquarters from Pennsylvania to Houston, and is looking to hire someone locally to be their Benefit Director. This is a pipeline company, which could be good for me given that I spent almost fifteen years in a past life with Transco, which was at one time one of the largest pipeline operators in the United States. I'm having lunch with my consultant friend on Tuesday to discuss the possible opportunity. I'll keep you posted.

A Chariot, A Museum, and A Book Review

This afternoon I finished the Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat chariot. Well, I almost finished it. There are still a few minor paint-related details to take care of, but basically it's finished. I decided to go with a modified version of the Superman logo, replacing the "S" with a "J" (for Joseph, get it?). I also added eleven stars, representing one of the dreams Joseph had regarding his brothers becoming subservient to him. I hope Director Pam likes the finished product, especially the license plate.

The story of Joseph and his eleven brothers is found in Genesis chapters 37 through 46.

I need to update my last post. I failed to mention the final event of Kayla's "Week of Fun" schedule. In addition to breakfast at the Breakfast Klub last Friday, we also visited the Holocaust Museum. Now, visiting this museum isn't exactly what anyone would can fun, but it is a very interesting place, and well worth a visit by anyone who's interest in 20th century history. The museum is in the Museum District (who would have guessed) but it's a little difficult to find. Our GPS actually gave the wrong address, so unless you enjoy driving around taking in the sights while you're lost you might want to call for directions before you go. If you go make sure you visit the exhibit on "Muslims Who Saved Jews" which is in a hall off the main exhibit area. The exhibit consists of photographs and stories of Albanian Muslims who sheltered Jews during World War II. The stories are interesting in that they all have a central theme with very similar quotes by the Muslim protectors, which was "We are all children of the same God. To allow any of God's children to die at the hands of the Nazis would be a sin against God." I wonder if contemporary Albanian Muslims continue to feel this way?

One of the nice things about not having to go to work every day (or any day for that matter) is that I have gotten to actually read a few books this summer. Last week I finished an interesting sports books titled Horns, Hogs, & Nixon Coming (Texas vs. Arkansas in Dixie's Last Stand). The book is about the 1969 football "Game of the Century" between the University of Texas and the University of Arkansas. In addition to the expected heavy dose of football, the book details the strife and tension that existed on both campuses over the war in Viet Nam and the continuing racial segregation that continued to exist in the football programs of both schools. Horns fans will find a happy ending.

As my unemployment continues I run into more and more people who ask me "Don't you get bored not going to work? What do you do all day?" I've given those questions some thought and come to the realization that with the exception of a few days, I haven't really had time to be bored. I've put together a list of the things I've been doing since my first day of unemployment, which occurred on April 20th. Since that date there have been 89 official work days. During those 89 days I have done the following -

Vacation Trip to Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, Sedona, Carlsbad Caverns - 10 days

Vacation Trip to Colorado - 5 days

Kadesh Leadership at Abilene Christian University (Group Leader) - 5 days

Camp Bandina (Group Leader) - 5 days

Installed low-voltage accent lights around the house (very exciting) - 1 day

Installed two new toilets (extremely exciting) - 1 day

Volunteer at Second Mile Mission (every Thursday) - 8 days

Research and write FCCC adult curriculum of Fall session of adult Bible classes - 7 days

Assist FCCC member with household repairs - 3 days

Build Joseph show chariot - 3 days

Read two books - 3 days

Install wall brackets and flat screen TV's in class room at the FCCC church building - 1 day

Visit Bethany and Cody in Austin - 1 day

Played golf - 1 day

That comes to 54 days of doing things I can definitely identify. In addition, I have cleaned the house a few times, done some yard work, gone shopping with Vicki a few times, and spent a lot of hours at Joseph rehearsals. So, I've had a few boring stretches, but not many.

Summer Is Officially Over

Today is the last day of summer. School starts tomorrow, rush hour traffic returns (an unpleasant thing for those of you who work), and Kayla and Lance have moved out and gone back to Lubbock. We're going to miss Kayla and Lance. Kayla was a little nostalgic about leaving, but Lance didn't seem quite too choked up. Don't get me wrong, I think he enjoyed his summer visit and he was appreciative of the free rent and free food, but after almost three months of living with the in-laws who wouldn't be ready to get away?

This past Thursday I returned to Second Mile after a two-week hiatus for Camp Bandina and Colorado. I spent a little time in the warehouse, but I worked the majority of the day in the food pantry, working under the direction of Penny, the food pantry supervisor. Apparently after spending several months laboring in obscurity with the community service kids someone thought I was ready to actually deal with the real people up front. I thought the warehouse was an honest day's work, but it's nothing compared to the pantry. From 9:00 AM until 5:00 PM this place is non-stop activity serving the clients who come for groceries. Penny had one community service kid, one very slow-moving volunteer, and me, and she had all of us stepping and fetching all day. My primary job was restocking the pantry shelves, which involved going back and forth between the pantry and the warehouse to find and retrieve whatever was running low. My secondary job was pushing each client's shopping cart of groceries out to their car and loading it into their trunk or back seat. One lady in particular really stood out. She was not the typical client. Please excuse my racial profiling, but she was not Hispanic, Middle Eastern, or Black. She was dressed nicely in clean clothes, she spoke perfect English, and she was driving an almost new Lincoln Navigator. I don't know her story, but things must be getting to the breaking point for someone like her to show up asking for free food. I spent a few seconds wondering how many other middle class white people will be in her shoes soon.

Back to Penny. This lady is absolutely on fire for the Lord. She's the kind of Christian who makes you feel embarrassed that you're so reserved about your faith. She told me that she was a former barmaid and bartender, and that she "was about as wild and crazy as they come." She grew up in the Church of Christ and had parents that loved her and cared about her and raised her to be a Christian, but she just wasn't buying what they were selling. At some point her lifestyle bottomed out and she realized that her only hope was in Jesus. Now she listens to KHCB at full volume, says "praise Jesus" at least ten times every hour, says "God bless you" to every client she meets, and tells the community service kids that they should give church a try. On top of all this, she has an endless supply of energy and works as hard as anyone I've ever seen. I'm really hoping to get put back in the warehouse next week where I can sweat in obscurity at my own pace.

As part of Kayla's "Week of Fun" we spent Friday checking off the last two things on her list. First, we went to breakfast at The Breakfast Klub, which is a dive (but a nice dive) near downtown on Travis. If you've ever driven downtown on a Saturday morning you may have noticed this place because it always has a line out the door and around the block. We decided that a Friday morning probably wouldn't be too crowded. There was a good crowd, but no waiting. Although ours were the whitest faces in the crowd, it was a fun experience. The staff was incredibly friendly, the food was good, and the portions were gargantuan. The only negative aspect of the morning was being surrounded by Obama pictures on all sides. Maybe that's why I couldn't finish all of my pancakes?

I spent most of the day yesterday putting the finishing touches on my chariot for the Joseph show (see prior post from about a month ago). I've designed a modified Superman logo as the primary decorative feature of the chariot. I'll post a picture of the finished product soon! Don't miss it!

Speaking of the Joseph show, I'm starting to get a little concerned. The show is now just a month away and we (the cast) are not even close to being ready. Our biggest obstacle has been getting everyone at rehearsals. I'm hoping that now that summer is over everyone will be back in town and ready to focus on the show. At least the chariot will be ready.

Odds and Ends

Okay, Camp Bandina and the Colorado vacation are now in the past. It's time to get back into the daily routine - whatever that is.

This is the last week for Kayla and Lance to be with us. They'll be heading back to Lubbock and Texas Tech this Saturday. It was fun having them here for the last few months and we'll sure miss them. I think it was a productive summer for both of them. Kayla picked up some good experience during her externship and Lance had the opportunity to make some money working for Jeff Simmons. I understand that they'll be back to attend the Joseph show the first weekend in October, and we'll also see them at a wedding in Dallas the following weekend.

Over the last few days I've had some good conversations with Thom Besso and his group regarding a Benefits Director position with a major hospital organization in Houston. I'm hoping to find out about an interview in the next few days.

This morning I put the finishing touches on my Life of Joseph curriculum for the Sunday morning adult Bible classes at FCCC. As I mentioned before, this will be a five week series of lessons - starting September 13th - that will cover chapters 15 through 50 of Genesis. I'm looking forward to teaching again.

Vicki is very excited about the sudden progress of her home redecorating project. This morning she brought home the new bedding - comforter, pillows, etc. - for the master bedroom. The new couch and love seat are also in, and will be delivered next week after the painters are finished with the master bedroom, the master bath, and the study. In addition, the fabric for recovering two of the living room chairs also arrived today. We still need to make some decisions on some new rugs, which will certainly be the most difficult part of the entire process. The last time we bought rugs we made at least three trips between the rug place and home with every rug, and those rugs are heavy! It's one thing to pick out furniture (which is easy) and another thing to find the perfect rug to match that furniture.

I'll finish with a short rant and then a movie review.

My rant involves people who smoke while being eligible for food stamps. On our trip to Colorado we frequented the Westcliffe Super Market on several occasions. During one of our visits we got stuck in a check out line behind two women who were paying for their purchases using a combination of food stamps, cash, and personal checks. I'm not exaggerating when I say that it took them at least fifteen minutes to check out. This would have annoyed me under the best of circumstances, but on this particular trip I had a case of altitude sickness and the accompanying headache, dizziness, etc. When we finally made it out of the store into the parking lot there were the food stamp ladies sitting on the hood of their pickup truck smoking cigarettes. Is it just me, or does it seem that people who can afford to spend $6.00 for a pack of cigarettes shouldn't be getting free groceries that you and I are paying for? I think part of Mr. Obama's health care reform should include mandatory nicotine testing for food stamp recipients.

And now, my movie review. Yesterday Kayla, Lance, Vicki and I went to see the movie The Time Traveler's Wife. Kayla assured us that this movie was "appropriate for all genders", meaning that it was not a chick-flick. This is a movie about a guy who is afflicted with a genetic disorder that causes him to make random trips through time. His time travel gene acts up whenever it feels like it, and he never knows when he'll disappear, or for how long. An interesting twist (not really) is that when he travels his clothes stay behind, which only makes sense when you think about it. Clothes cannot have genetic disorders. This story would have made a good episode on a sixty minute installment of the Twilight Zone but it definitely was not enough to carry an entire feature length movie. Also, I'm not too sure about the "gender appropriate" thing. It definitely bordered on chick-flickedness.

The remainder of this week will be dedicated to Kayla. She is done with her externship and will be using the rest of this week to have as much fun as possible before they go back to Lubbock. Lance, on the other hand, will be using the rest of this week to make as much money as possible before they go back to Lubbock. I noticed earlier today that Kayla has actually written up a schedule for the week, appropriately named the "Week of Fun Schedule" (not a joke). Today was "movie and hang out at home", tomorrow is "chill at home in the morning and go to the Galleria in the evening", and Wednesday is "Breakfast Klub [a downtown breakfast dive] and George Ranch", etc., etc. for Thursday and Friday. Have fun at work Lance.