You Think You're Bored?  Reading This May Help . . .

Yesterday I hit what I'm hoping will be my worst virus hostage day.  Here's what I did during the day, with all the details I'm sure you are looking forward to.  Reading this will probably make you feel better about yourself.

8:14 AM - When I retired back in 2017 I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't turn into one of those lazy old guys who slept late and then wandered around his house all day wondering what do to.  With that in mind, I decided that I would get out of bed each morning no later than 7:00 AM.  I held myself to that rule until recently.  Why get up early when there is nothing on your agenda for the day.  So now I basically lay in bed for an hour or so every morning before I get up to face another busy day.

8:15 AM - Logged on to the internet to check the news.  After skipping the first 87 stories about the virus, written from every conceivable angle - and designed to seemingly inflict as much panic as possible - I switched over to sports-related articles.  Unfortunately, reading sports-related articles when there are no actual sports going on is even more boring than reading about ways to conserve toilet paper.

8:27 AM - Had a hearty bowl of Corn Chex for breakfast.  Until very recently I thought that Corn Chex were not even manufactured any more.  However, with the potentially starving masses snapping up all the good cereal, this was the only variety still available when Vicki last braved the grocery store,

8:38 AM - Vicki and I had a conversation about potentially starting to conserve items that may possibly remain in short supply during the consumer panic.  We are seemingly good for up to two months on the toilet paper front, which is wonderful news.  However, what we may be in danger of exhausting is our current supply of deodorant.  With that in mind we made the decision to begin cutting back.  I suggested that we double our timeline by using it under the left arm on even numbered days, and the right arm on odd numbered days.  My suggestion is being taken under advisement, but is not expected to be approved.

9:15 AM - Entered the breakfast room and picked up my work on putting together the Old Candy Store one-thousand piece puzzle.  Puzzle-working is a great activity in which to engage during hostage situations in which you are the hostage.  Puzzles offer the perfect combination of identifying a challenge, overcoming adversity while addressing the challenge, and feeling a rush of accomplishment upon overcoming the challenge.  We actually started working on the Candy Store a couple days ago, but I decided today was the day to really ramp things up.  Challenges that were met and overcome during the puzzle session:

• Developed a successful technique for sitting in my chair sideways so as to minimize the glare on the puzzle pieces.
• Realized that putting my head down on the table to take a short nap resulted in waking up with multiple indentions on my forehead.
• After three hours managed to locate the left eye of the kid with the lollipop.
• After five hours managed to locate the front legs of the German shepherd in the background out the window of the store.  The candy store apparently was not in Austin, or the German shepherd would have been in the store.
• After eleven hours Vicki finally located the old lady's right eye.
• We were about to call the day a total success until we realized that there was one puzzle piece missing (!) which denied us the true satisfaction of finalizing a job well done.

8:15 PM - We watched a taped episode of Dateline, in which a guy in Toledo was accused of killing a drunk girl he picked up in a bar back in 1983.  He was actually convicted, but ultimately freed after a successful appeal.  What was notable about this event - other than the jury that had convicted him must has slept through the "innocent until PROVEN guilty" lecture in Law 101 - was that everyone associated with the case looked like the people who work the carnival rides at the county fair.

10:15 PM - Watched a Ken Burns documentary on the Vietnam war until midnight.  This made the current misery seem a lot less miserable.

Upon getting ready for bed I noticed that I was actually already ready for bed.  For the first time since the onset of the panic I realized that I was still in the gym shorts and tee shirt I had slept in the night before.  I vowed to never let that happen again, and this morning I felt good about myself, when upon rising from a good night's sleep - no doubt brought about by a hard day of puzzle working - I immediate changed into a different pair of gym shorts.  However, this action did raise a question in my mind that I have been thinking about all day.  When will I every wear long pants again?